


I Want To Get Better

by BetterYouThanMe



Series: Harry Potter Drabbles [30]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BetterYouThanMe/pseuds/BetterYouThanMe
Summary: Ginny is still coping with the aftermath of her run-in with Tom Riddle. The only person who really understands is her older brother Percy.*I read that anxiety and depression can cause someone to get sleep paralysis. This occurs between the 2nd and 3rd book. Ginny has a mixture of things (Post-traumatic, depression, and anxiety) but Percy just has anxiety. Everyone copes differently and I tried to convey that through this story. Also all the medical sites I looked at used "episode" to describe sleep paralysis so I did the same. And I'm a sucker for Percy and Ginny being good siblings with each other because you don't really see it in the books and movies.*





	I Want To Get Better

Ginny sat on her bed with her legs tucked underneath her. Uncontrollable sobs racked through her body as she tried to stifle the noise with her hand. Another nightmare had caused her to go into sleep paralysis; after what seemed like an hour she had finally got herself to move.

She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her parents or even sleep with one of her brothers. The need to be with someone outweighed the embarrassment she thought she would receive. It wouldn't be the first time she bothered one of her brothers over this problem.

A soft melodic voice that had a drip of poison to it was the cause of her nightmares. She knew it was irrational to be afraid of him. The Dark Lord couldn't reach her now that the diary was destroyed. Pulling herself off the bed, she padded her way to Percy's room.

She didn't know why but she often found herself drawn to his room instead of the other's. Maybe if Charlie still lived at home she'd be in his room, but even then Percy would understand what she was going through the best.

He didn't talk about it much, but Ginny could see what really laid in his eyes. His thoughts of self-doubt shined brighter than the appearance he put on of being the best. Late night talks with Percy seemed to make her happier than a good prank with the twins. He explained everything in a way that caused Ginny to worry less.

She knew her brain was messed up from Tom Riddle; no one needed to tell her that. But even when she took the medicine and followed what the Medi-witch told her to do she didn't get better. Ginny still felt a cold presence in her head. With Percy, she worried less about the cold feeling and more about what he was saying. He promised her she'd get better.

But as the months went on her mental state stayed the same. Ginny knew it wasn't anything she was doing. She was trying her best but at this point, she was spending more time in Percy's room than her own. She couldn't help but feel angry with herself. But more importantly, she felt disappointed.

She was doing everything she was told to do and yet nothing was happening. But it was more of the fact that she was dependent on everyone now. Ginny couldn't go back to sleep—she'd have sleep paralysis if she didn't talk to Percy first.

She knocked on his door with the memory of her recent episode in mind. The door opened shortly after her knock and Percy moved to let her in. Immediately, they both situated themselves on the bed. Percy leaned up against the headboard as Ginny moved a pillow onto his legs so she could lay her head on it. Sometimes Percy would card his fingers through her hair, but that only happened when she had a really bad episode.

"What's up?" Percy knew why she was there but he still asked.

"I had another episode."

"Tell me about it."

"It started with a nightmare of him talking to me like he did in the diary and then I suddenly heard the basilisk. That's what caused me to go into sleep paralysis. During the episode, I saw him standing at the edge of my bed and his mouth was moving but I couldn't hear him. But it felt like I was choking."

"Do you usually feel like you're being choked?"

"No." Ginny played with her hands. "But the medi-witch told me that it might happen."

"Did you take your potion before bed?"

"No." Ginny knew she should have lied.

"We talked about this." Percy sighed.

"I know." Ginny sat up to look her brother in the eyes. "It's just that even when I do take the potion, it doesn't help. How come I'm not getting better?"

"I promise if you take it every day you'll get better." Percy reached for her hand. "You have to take it consistently for it to work."

"Is that why you recite that thing in the mirror every day?" Ginny had caught Percy muttering some sort of affirmation to himself.

"Yes. And if you take your potion, it'll help just like my saying."

"So, your saying helps with your anxiety?"

"A little." Percy rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "My anxiety will never go away but the affirmation helps."

"Do you ever feel disappointed that you aren't  _normal_?"

"I used to and then I realized that no one was normal." Percy pulled her into a hug. "Normal doesn't exist."

They fell asleep soon after. Ginny didn't have another nightmare and Percy wasn't up wondering about stupid things. Neither of them would get better for a while, but for now, they at least had each other. It made the days easier to handle.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Fanfiction.net page  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5665438/BetterYouThanMe


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